Photo Day

We had our 2.5 year photos in the front yard last night.

It was a very surreal experience to say the least. Watching him run and jump in the front yard, it hit me for the very first time just how much he has grown. I'd been aware of it before, I mean...his 3 month old kissee kissee outfits don't fit, I am not stupid. But it really HIT me. Like a truck, no, more like a tidal wave. And the more I became engulfed in the nostalgia, the more emotional I became. Worry of SIDS and ear infections turned into worry of falling or choking. This in turn became worry of drowning at the pool or wandering outside in the middle of the night. Which will one day become worry of car accidents and other atrocities as a result of poor decision making. And then the glory of his birth became the thrill of our first word. Then the cheering of his first step has become the joy of watching him learn to pedal a tricyle with ease. Which will eventually become the elation of watching him recieve a diploma (or more, God willing) and someday starting his own family.

The funny part? Well, that's what brought on this wave of emotion. You see, Ben has outgrown his "preference" for nylon basketball shorts and a white T Shirt with pockets. Here is a picture of the outfit he picked out to wear for his photo.

Funniest. T Shirt. Ever.

Kevin played in a family golf tournament this morning and called me and told me what my great aunt Darlene had on. Now mind you, she is a breast cancer survivor and is a total pistol!

Her T Shirt read:

My breasts are fake. The real ones tried to kill me!

Safety Bath

Getting ready for the big plunge!



Apparently we need some privacy.




All settled?



Will I float?



Hmmm...I don't float!



Oh, but I look good!

I love America!

Oh I love my country! Home of the brave and Land of the Free Gift With Purchase (Legally Blonde 2) I love the right to vote, the right to not vote, the right to bear arms, the right to eat McDonalds - I love it all. I am a USA Junkie and there is no stopping me!

But what I especially love about America right now is America's Got Talent. This is not American Idol - there is no "technical skill" involved in the judging. There is only one rule: Are you entertaining? The audience is the 4th judge and it is a very "gong showesque" atmosphere that lets the audience decide who stays and who goes in some cases. Much like at the Apollo, if the audience hates you, well then - you're out!

Where else but in the USA can a tranny Tina Turner shake it like a polaroid picture and have all "her" dreams fulfilled by Sharon Osbourne and "The Hoff"?

Meet my new friend, Dorea Saunders.

It all begins today

Watching your child struggle for independence is a bittersweet ordeal. From the time they breathe their first breath, they want to be on their own. If I had a quarter for everytime my mop top tot screamed "MY DO IT!", I would be a millionaire by now. Well, "My do it" eventually turned into "I'll do it by myself, Mommy!" and slowly I have watched him demand to take over his own life. But it hasn't been too hard for me, because he has yet to successfully achieve something correctly on his own. His shoes are on the wrong feet. His pants are bunched up in the back. The potty isn't flushed. And that tickles me to death. Because that is proof that he still needs me. So I encourage and praise him for his achievements accomplished all by himself, no matter how far they are from perfection. Because the look on his face...the pride on his face...is so wonderful to see. And I normally skip off, relishing in the fact that no matter how much he wants to do it "All by myself", he can't and I win!

Until today....

I am in the shower. And every parent knows what showering with a loose 2 1/2 year old is like. Wash, rinse and repeat, my fanny! I am lucky to wash and rinse - there will be no repeating. So I am trying to set a new Olympic record for bathing and sweet Ben comes in and says, "Mommy! I need more orange juice." To which I reply, "Sure, Ben...I am almost done and I'll get it for you." and away he goes. Well, thinking he is in my room watching "Cars", I decide to do the unthinkable and shave my legs - daring, I know. Halfway thru the first calf I see Ben come around the corner wobbling. He stands in front of my shower door and says, "You don't have to do it, Mommy. I'll do it all by myself!" And takes the GALLON JUG OF ORANGE JUICE and THE CUP FROM THE NIGHTSTAND and pours himself a glass of orange juice. He did not spill one drop! Then he screwed the lid back on the jug and took it back to the kitchen. He came back to the bathroom and then sat in the floor and drank his orange juice.

I wish you all could have seen me - well, not literally as I am naked in the shower - but I just stood there. Water pouring over my face with my jaw gaping open, it hit me. It all begins today. Today is the day that he has achieved something completely on his own and successfully! From here on out it is just going to be one thing after the other, until 14 years from now he'll hop in a car and drive away from me. Oh dear God, what have I done? I have created a HUMAN BEING! He will think on his own, act on his own and one day...well, he just won't need me. Not the way I need him.

I think I'll call my mother and apologize now.
You should do the same!

Serious Question of the Day

Several of you have commented to me that perhaps I should pursue my dream and write something. My mom is the worst of this as she mentions it weekly. (Questioning her altruistic feelings of wanting ME to do something for ME, or if she wants to see me on Oprah so that she can tell everyone about it). But what if I did? What if I put my anxiety and fear of being made fun of aside and used it for good instead of evil?

My question to you: What would I write about?

Editors Note: The thing about my Mom. It helps to understand that she is more Yenta than WASP. I just wanted you to know this so that when you role played what the nagging sounded like in your head, you'd be more accurate.

Another Guilty Pleasure

Today is a quiet day. I dare not say, "too quiet" for fear that the next noise I hear will be screams or crashing...but today is a quiet day. It is a little cloudy and Ben is with Mamoo. Kevin had this huge cyst thing removed from his wrist joint, so he and his hydrocodone made a date day in bed and he is out.

All I can hear now is the washing machine and my fingers on the keyboard. And once I wrap this up, then it will just be the washing machine. Oh what a day!

But it is days like this, that I start pulling out the old VCR tapes to watch one of my favorite, cult classic movies. Normally I want to knee jerk to "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" with Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees, but today might just have to be "Dudes" - one of Jon Cryer's most shining moments since Ducky in "Pretty in Pink".

As you may or may not remember, back in January I shared with you my love of super crappy, cult classic movies and "Dudes" is the ultimate. Flea (from Red Hot Chile Peppers), Jon Cryer and gang are a bunch of punks from NYC who are heading thru Montana and Flea gets killed by some survivalists. Totally realistic. But anyway, Jon Cryer eventually seeks revenge over his friend's death instead of retreating back to NYC. Well, folks...this is what you get:



Just remember..."if you are going to do it, then you'd better do it right!"

Happy Independence Day!

So I wished someone a Happy Fourth of July the other day and I was told, "you don't say Merry December 25th, do you???" - um...HUH? When I finally got what it was they were trying to say, I was already back at my car and it was too weird to go back and say, "um...HUH?" to their face.


So Happy Fourth of July, people! And Merry December 25th and Happy January First and Happy February Fourteenth - which is Happy Birthday KEVIN!

Oh Very Young One...

"Oh very young one
what will you leave us this time?"
- Cat Stevens

Kevin's sister, Kim, asked him to burn the pictures off of all of her camera sticks on to a disc not too long ago and I found the pictures on our computer.

I just never get over how fast time really flies...